I quit my job 11 months back. I couldn’t exactly tell why. There were things going on at home and I thought I was needed. My brother was soon going to be battling the most baseless competition of his life – Engineering Exams in India. I felt I needed to be there in case he didn’t get in, which is what happened. Also, I felt connected to none of my team mates except Anusha, for the mutual love of reading. Nobody had a real sense of purpose. Making 💰, getting prompted, providing for family, being pragmatic at work to be able to bag foreign work trips are not purposes. At best they are goals, motives. They are more like parts of the cake in the fourth spatial dimensions of which only sprinkles or cream are visible in the third spatial dimension. Our mind has been practised on senses for so long, it’s very easy to stop asking oneself What is my purpose? very easily.
I felt trapped. I was learning technically, but I wouldn’t have anything to talk about were we as a team to hangout sometime. It was to such an extent for me, that I didn’t even say good bye to anybody from my then team and just rushed off at 5 pm to spend the next 10 days that I had specifically spaced for myself. Because I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy solitude for a long time ahead. I think that was the reason that I booked my flight tickets for 10 days ahead, because I somehow knew it already.