An Ode To Cockroaches

Cockroaches, I can understand that
if you had our ears, you would
run at the screams of my little sister,
who screams like she had seen a monster
crawling on the walls of the washroom
when instead she had just seen you
strolling in the late evening
basking the glory of tubelight.

But me, I come from peace,
I’m not disgusted by your existence.
I do not get flabbergasted by your
occasional flying skills. Infact I,
say hi to you when I come to brush.

But you, you go haywire in fear.
Do you sweat? Is there something
equivalent to that, that you do?
You needn’t, I wish I could talk
and tell you that I love you, and that
I do not want to kill you.

Advertisements

Why Cockroaches Are Vampires, Missing Of Indian Toilets And Other Things

indiantoilet

Cockroaches are vampires, because well you know, they are on the move in the dark and hide with light like it was burning their body. Unlike vampires though they do not know when my foot is so close to them that if I was to inadvertently place it on ’em they would most probably be out of this world in a jiffy. Also a similarity with the vampires is, that they have this superpower to not die of a bomb. But the weird thing about this is that, they are easily killed with a crush.

I miss Indian style toilets. I used to hate them at one point of time. Hate them like I would want to burn them down. But I fell in love with them when I went to college. Common floor bathrooms would have 3-4 Indian style toilets and one English style. Because many people who had never squatted and pooped before would always capture the English style before, odds would heavily be that one would (if one could! 😀 ), would have to go in the Indian style.

Like many things there are tradeoffs, which is to say there are both advantages and disadvantages of Indian style toilets. The advantages are, no matter how small a pressure’s been made in your bowel, accumulated waste would flow like it was going through a water slide, effortlessly. It would rush so elegantly and at the right speed that you’d love how fast you’d been relieved. Also there are less chances of this happening

it2

At the same time, the disadvantages of an Indian style toilet are that, your feet would probably get numb if you are sleepy, which is true most mornings, you are likely to topple back, because it’s hard to balance when you are squatting for long.

You’d be able to see your 💩 as soon as you look down a bit, sitting right there, brown/yellow/blackish-brown solid/semi-solid/semi-liquid/liquid depending on your stomach conditions.

The biggest disadvantage would be that if you like to take your mobile in the toilet to scroll numerous social feeds, there are more chances that your mobile will end up with your 💩 and you’ll be staring at your 💩 wondering if you should bring your cleaning gloves to take it out. If and when you do, there would be more questions staring back at ya.

Is it working properly? Should I put it in the sun? Should I heat it near gas or heater? Would the smell of the 💩 ever go?

I forgot the other things, that I was to write about. Maybe next time, if I remember ’em.

Edit: I did remember some! They are listed towards the end: https://bullshit.ist/why-cockroaches-are-vampires-missing-of-indian-toilets-and-other-things-b1f8e8c24421