Ancient India Knowledge, Birth Cycle, Body, Commitment, Dedication, knowledge, Liberation, Mental Conditioning, Mind, Moksha, Rebirth, Sanatan Dharma, Sanskrit, Scripture, Self, storytelling, Technology, writing, Yoga Vashishtha
I’m on a streak — to meditate everyday and to go running every morning, thanks to my mother’s constant disappointment in me, I decided to give her two less reasons to scold me, which otherwise would have contined — to not wake up in the morning and waste half of the day, to not live up to what I believe in.
Right from the day when I got slapped by my KG class teacher, for singing Tu cheese badi hai mast mast for her in the class without any prompt, without any solicitation, I remember I’ve always fantasized about girls — about spooning with them, cuddling them, kissing them, and when I got to know what sex was (whole different funny story), having stupendous sex with them.
This habit had stayed with me. Until, I started being up at very late hours, and slept only when I couldn’t take wakefulness any longer. Fantasies had no time anymore. But only in the night, for they continued if and when I had time in the morning, in the half wakefulness on the cozy bed and duvets / sheets.
A week ago, it stopped. Because I couldn’t get a line I read in Yoga Vashitha out of my system (it was not like I was trying to, the line is so addictive of sorts, that it killed a habit a lifetime long. Imagine the power!). It was like it became a part of me, and that part of me is trying to live up to something it has learnt anew. The text said —
Moksha or liberation is the total abandonment of all vāsanā or mental conditioning, without the least reserve. Mental conditioning is of two types — the pure and the impure. The impure is the cause of birth; the pure liberates one from birth. The impure is of the nature of nescience and ego-sense; these are the seeds, as it were, for the tree of re-birth. On the other hand, when these seeds are abandoned, the mental conditioning that merely sustains the body, is of a pure nature. Such mental conditioning exists even in those who have been liberated while living: it doesn’t lead to re-birth as it is sustained only by past momentum and not by present motivation.
Every time I was tempted to fantasize before sleeping (now that I’m sleeping early to get up early), the bold styled line above automatically came all over me and inside me (no pun intended). And I’ve been having the most peaceful sleep I’ve ever had. Breaking old habits through ancient knowledge, when things make more sense, as if we always have had subsets of knowledge, it is liberating already.