When The Time On My Mobile Phone Wouldn’t Change

Last night I had a horrid dream. Bone shaking me to my core, I have never had such a sweaty nightmare ever before. I dream very less (if I do, I don’t remember most of them). Last night’s -mare ingrained in my memory very starkly. Details need too much background information about my family members. […]

A Clock Story: When I Didn’t Know How To Count Time

My mum married at 22. She has some of my childhood photographs but no video. So she, my brother and I revisit my mischiefs by the mimics my mother emulates from when I was small. This one time, mum came home tired after school (she’s a high school physics teacher). She mimics how I kept […]

When I Tell Them To Turn Off Their Two Wheeler’s Headlight

I’m on a motorbike a lot. I’ve my father’s Royal Enfield (a.k.a Bullet a.k.a Bullt (Punjabi folks would understand)), and I’ve a Yamaha Fazer. This noon when I got out to run some errands, I found an unusual lot of people on their two wheelers with their headlight on during the daylight. I get irritated […]

I Didn’t Use To Wear Underwears Until 6th Grade, Here’s Why

I was so proud of the fact that I didn’t have to take the help of the other hand, to keep it out of the underwear during the duration of peeing. And this was relatively unhealthy habit until I was advised against it but, I used to not use my hands at all. I’d just unzip, […]

Why Cockroaches Are Vampires, Missing Of Indian Toilets And Other Things

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Cockroaches are vampires, because well you know, they are on the move in the dark and hide with light like it was burning their body. Unlike vampires though they do not know when my foot is so close to them that if I was to inadvertently place it on ’em they would most probably be out of this world in a jiffy. Also a similarity with the vampires is, that they have this superpower to not die of a bomb. But the weird thing about this is that, they are easily killed with a crush.

I miss Indian style toilets. I used to hate them at one point of time. Hate them like I would want to burn them down. But I fell in love with them when I went to college. Common floor bathrooms would have 3-4 Indian style toilets and one English style. Because many people who had never squatted and pooped before would always capture the English style before, odds would heavily be that one would (if one could! 😀 ), would have to go in the Indian style.

Like many things there are tradeoffs, which is to say there are both advantages and disadvantages of Indian style toilets. The advantages are, no matter how small a pressure’s been made in your bowel, accumulated waste would flow like it was going through a water slide, effortlessly. It would rush so elegantly and at the right speed that you’d love how fast you’d been relieved. Also there are less chances of this happening

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At the same time, the disadvantages of an Indian style toilet are that, your feet would probably get numb if you are sleepy, which is true most mornings, you are likely to topple back, because it’s hard to balance when you are squatting for long.

You’d be able to see your 💩 as soon as you look down a bit, sitting right there, brown/yellow/blackish-brown solid/semi-solid/semi-liquid/liquid depending on your stomach conditions.

The biggest disadvantage would be that if you like to take your mobile in the toilet to scroll numerous social feeds, there are more chances that your mobile will end up with your 💩 and you’ll be staring at your 💩 wondering if you should bring your cleaning gloves to take it out. If and when you do, there would be more questions staring back at ya.

Is it working properly? Should I put it in the sun? Should I heat it near gas or heater? Would the smell of the 💩 ever go?

I forgot the other things, that I was to write about. Maybe next time, if I remember ’em.

Edit: I did remember some! They are listed towards the end: https://bullshit.ist/why-cockroaches-are-vampires-missing-of-indian-toilets-and-other-things-b1f8e8c24421