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It’s a viscous loop isn’t it? Experiences create tendencies, and tendencies in turn create experiences. Where’s the source? I watched a video lately. A friend suggested it to me. I still have this and other playlists to watch, and even more. Yoga Vashishtha for starters.

But the question, where is the source? Source is in a couplet. Observation of what is happening. Observing what happens inside you when something happens outside, an event, a circumstance you are circumscribed with, a situation, feelings, emotions. It’s absolutely fascinating to be in a vantage point and experience the things that are happening to you, the tendencies that build up.  It is when one starts applying that knowledge that starts from that non judgemental observation, that only results in you smiling or laughing at the wonder of how things happen inside you. Then there’s a chance to break the dependency of tendencies on external factors.

Last night, I was tempted to think about a naked woman, and the details I’d have wanted myself to fantasise were all in place. It had been half an hour since I’d watched the video. This must sound like a forced celibacy try, but trust me it’s not, I do not resist something like that, because the more I resist it persists. It’s a tendency, it comes and goes. So, where was I? Yes. The tendencies that had risen up in me, I took myself in a vantage point and observed how the whatsapp chats that I’d just finished with a girl who loves me, had made me want to dive into fantasy. As soon as I came completely, brutally honest with myself, I laughed. Trust me, the next moment there was an accomplishment, for it’s real achievement of a day to be completely honest with yourself. There were no longings after that instant. Like Magic. I went off to sleep and that was it.

I read this really lovely poem lately. I thought I’d share it.

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